They warned us about the “terrible twos” and the “teenage years” but nobody told us about the LAST phase of parenting. The LAST phase of parenting is parenting our kids when they become adults. If your kids are grown, you know it can be challenging.
From the moment that little sweet baby comes into our lives, every cell in our body is wired to love them and keep them safe! We navigate through their toddler years helping them get back up when they fall. As the years pass, we continue to pick them up when they fall. Then suddenly, they’re grown! Our job is done, right? Hold on! Apparently we never stop parenting!
So, how is it going? If you’re like me, I had a hard time moving from making it my responsibility to manage their lives to handing that responsibility over to them. I wondered, “What if they don’t do it “right” and things don’t go well for them? Life could become hard for them.” I lost sleep and found myself consumed with worry over my grown kids. I thought they should…
- behave differently
- show up for Sunday dinner
- Choose a certain school, job, partner
- Save more money
Sometimes everybody co-operated with my “Rule book”. And sometimes they did not! I literally thought that if the people I loved would just change, then everything would be ok and I could feel peace. I was so consumed with my need to make sure that my kids “do it right”. All of the “what ifs” haunted me!
I went in search of answers. I discovered the most life changing truth!
People get to be who they are!
And my adult children are people! This turned out to be good news! Our kids have their own path. They’re going to make mistakes just like we did and still do. The challenges they face will help them grow. This is how it should be. Nothing has actually gone wrong. What a relief!
It’s not our job to tell them what to do. It doesn’t even work!
What if, we’ve done our job and now it’s our job to…
L-Love them
A-Accept them
S-Support them
T-Trust them
LAST is a tool I’ve created to lead us toward healthy relationships with our adult children. I’m a Life Coach and I support my clients while they navigate letting go with love! If you’d like to dive deeper into LAST, click below for a FREE 3 Steps to Peace of Mind in the LAST phase of parenting!
#parentingadultchildren
#midlife
#relationshipwithkids